Innocence

As the semester is now in full swing, my days are becoming less and less bearable and I seem to be Ms. Cranky Pants as I drive down I-25 towards Pueblo, Colorado and the Colorado Mental Health Hospital. It is my first clinical day and I have no idea what to expect. The day started off with a bang as we quickly went to our locations and were split into groups to our separate units.

The hospital looked nothing like what I had expected. In my mind I had visions of people crawling on all fours down long brick corridors chanting some ancient voodoo and thinking that these were the people I was going to have a conversation with. To my surprise the exact opposite was true. The hospital is about 3 football fields long, and beautifully designed with a lot of natural light and windows. Once in our unit, my fellow nursing student and I stuck closely together as our nerves were ready to burst at any moment. Apparently she had the same visions I had while driving today.

Gratefully, there weren't many patients in the common area today, however as time wore on more and more began emerging from their separate rooms. Today, my partner and I, were going to accompany a small group of patients to a group therapy session to help their cognitive skills. I thought this was going to be interesting as I didn't know what to expect.

We followed the group into a smaller room down the hall in which four tables were set up. The hospital techs quickly pulled out model airplanes colored pencils and paint by numbers for the patients who had obviously had been previously working on these. The patient who sat across from me had a color page.

Now, in accordance with HIPPA, I can't disclose anything about the nature of our conversation nor the reason they were present in the hospital, however, it was amazing to me to see this individual and their innocence in coloring the picture. They truly thought they were doing a work of art. In my head, I was thinking "Uh...you realize that you are supposed to stay in the lines?" and "It really doesn't matter what color the damn flower is so just pick a color!!" But I know that in my busy schedule I often don't take time to appreciate all the little things in my life.

I do take a lot of things in my life for granted and that it is so very easy to get caught up in my selfish ways. As I take a step back and take a look at my life I realize that I have a huge ego and most often live life for me. Maybe if I take a little time to slow down and really look at things I can appreciate the little things better. It does matter what color that flower is and maybe going outside the lines isn't the disaster we always make it out to be. The pride that began to beam from this patient's face when I complimented their coloring radiated throughout the room. I saw a completely innocent side to someone who had committed crimes that landed them in the very position that they were in. I do think that we have a little childish innocence in us, and no matter where our lives lead us, whether by choice or not, we shouldn't loose it.